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Gary's GTO Journal

Dear Uncle Frank, November 7, 2002

What Election 2002 Means To GTO Collectors?

What do this weekís election results mean to us Wyoming GTO collectors? Thatís the question I put to several of my fifty-something friends. Most of them didnít answer right off. I should have known better than to wake them from their afternoon naps. Thereís nothing worst than a cranky car guy with no political affiliation, just up from a nap. Few of them could think of anything truly meaningful about election night 2002. And nobody could think of anything that these new guys (elected officials) were going to do for us lowly car enthusiasts. We donít buy stock, we buy fenders. We donít save for retirement, we save parts cars. And who cares about Irag anyway. The Pontiac Historical Service says that GM never, ever, shipped them any GTOs, only a few Chevys back in the fifties. With this in mind, I thought Iíd share how our new leaders will be helping someone truly important, Wyomingís Antelope. Why not look at it from their point of view. After all, there are more of them in Wyoming than people, and they have lived here the longest. Besides most could keep up with a Ram Air III, at least through second gear. First of all, I know the Antelope were happy that fellow lost, who wanted to store the nuke waste out on the prairie. That stuff makes the sagebrush grow faster, which is good. But it also makes antlers glow in the dark. What self-respecting antelope would want to light up the night like some kind of Christmas Reindeer? Itís also good that one of the 2002 "something elects", is not a hunter, and wants to ban all guns. He even wants to eliminate Antelope hunting season all together, and have open season on meat processing plant owners. The Antelope donít want more taxes for coal mines. After all, the coal mines plant more grass than anyone in Wyoming. Come to think of it, thatís a concept many college students could identify with. If lower taxes means more grass, so be it. These antelope may be smarter at politics than we think. It makes sense that our new Governor will be popular with our fast and furry friends. He wants to keep all the water here in Wyoming and send only a trickle to Nebraska. No well-bred antelope would be caught dead in Nebraska anyway, so why send them the water. Besides their favorite animal is the Husker, and they drink Gatorade. I saw them downing a big barrel of the stuff on TV last Saturday. Another election promise made by the newly elected, was to bring more tourists to Wyoming. Antelope love having their picture made. It does their ego good to see 15 minivans from New Jersey pile up, while stopping to see the herd cross the road. Yes, itís great to have those out-of-state tourist dollars here in Wyoming. They spend their money on Big Macs and tacos. Neither of which is made from Antelope. It is clear that election 2002 and the incoming state and national office holders will change us forever. The fact that their policies are better for the Antelope than us GTO folks is proof enough.

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